Monday, 22 October 2012 22:33

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Me missus bought a paperback

Down town on Saturday,

I had a peep into her bag;

'Twas “Fifty Shades of Grey."


Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread.


Her left hand held a length of rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down onto the floor,

And then began to strip.


Well fifty years or so ago

I might have had a peek;

But Doris hasn’t weathered well;

She’s eighty four next week.


Watching Doris bump and grind

Could not have been much grimmer.

Things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled up upon her feet

A cuppla minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

That I must dominate her!!


Now if you knew our Doris,

You would see just why I spluttered,

I’d spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I’d uttered.


She stood there nude, just naked like,

Bent forward just a bit ….

I took a pace to brace meself

And stood on her left tit!


Old Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;

My god what had I done?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

“Step on the other one!”


Well readers, I won't tell no more

What happened on that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair

Turned “fifty shades of grey”.

Read 2295 times Last modified on Thursday, 07 February 2013 01:32
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