Friday, 16 July 2004 19:00

Facts of Life Part X

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A father was explaining the facts of life to his teenage son. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of lovemaking:

Father: One thing to keep in mind, son, is that different women say different things during the sexact, even if you are doing the same thing.

Son: What do you mean, Dad?

Father: Well, for example, their words will vary according to their occupation. For example, a prostitute will tend to say, "Are you done yet?" On the other hand, a nymphomaniac will ask, "Are you done already?"

Son: What do other women say?

Father: Well, a schoolteacher will say, "We are going to do this over and over again until you get it right!" A nurse will say, "This won't hurt one bit."

Son: I thought they said, "Pull down your pants and bend over."

Father: That's a male nurse. But let's move on, a bankteller will say, "Substantial penalty for early withdrawal." A stewardess will say, "Place this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally."

Son: And what does mother say?

Father: She says, "Beige... beige... I think we should paint the ceiling beige."
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