A father was explaining the facts of life to his teenage son. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of lovemaking:
Father: One thing to keep in mind, son, is that different women say different things during the sexact, even if you are doing the same thing.
Son: What do you mean, Dad?
Father: Well, for example, their words will vary according to their occupation. For example, a prostitute will tend to say, "Are you done yet?" On the other hand, a nymphomaniac will ask, "Are you done already?"
Son: What do other women say?
Father: Well, a schoolteacher will say, "We are going to do this over and over again until you get it right!" A nurse will say, "This won't hurt one bit."
Son: I thought they said, "Pull down your pants and bend over."
Father: That's a male nurse. But let's move on, a bankteller will say, "Substantial penalty for early withdrawal." A stewardess will say, "Place this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally."
Son: And what does mother say?
Father: She says, "Beige... beige... I think we should paint the ceiling beige."