You use the Overture Search Term Suggestion Tool to name your children.
You buy birthday gifts for your relatives through your affiliate links.
You get physically exhausted doing the Google Dance.
You check your server stats more than your blood pressure and you think their may be a correlation.
You write keyword rich poetry.
You regularly check the availability of the domain name, "Yahoo.com" just in case they've forgotten to renew.
Your wife informs you that you're hosting dinner. You tell her you are sure that dinner.com, .net, .org, etc. domains are already taken.
Customer service asks you to verify your address. You give them your IP.
You rate and review your own website listing.