Monday, 04 September 2000 19:00


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Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds; "Look son, look what I've made". Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

God replied, "It's a planet and I've put LIFE on it. I've named it Earth and there is a balance between everything on it. For example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and South America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them that's going to be a hot spot. Now look over here. I've put a continent of white people in the north and another one of black people in the south."

The archangel then said, "And what's that long white line there?"

And God said "Ah - that is New Zealand - the land of the long white cloud and that's a very special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth; beautiful Mountains, lakes, rivers, streams, and an exquisite coast-line. These people here are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving. And I'm going to give them this superhuman, undefeatable rugby team which will be blessed with the most talented, and charismatic specimens on the planet, and will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed: "Hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, you said there was going to be a balance."

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the irritating loud-mouthed wankers I'm putting in the country next to them."
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