A mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple days with a specimen.
When she got home she asks her husband," What is a specimen?"
He replies," Hell if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse".
The woman goes next door and comes back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face and body.
"What in the world happened?" asked her husband.
"Damn if I know," she replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was and she told me to go piss in a bottle. I told her to go shit in her hat and then all hell broke loose.