Friday, 03 August 2001 19:00

You Know You're A Wog..

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WOG WHEN...................

1. You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2. You carry your lunch in a Weston Produce bag because you can't fit 2 falafel chicken sandwiches, 4 oranges, 3 bananas, a jar of olives, a loaf of bread and a kebab into a regular paper lunch bag.

3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monaro/Kingswood.

4. Your mother owns 3 houses, has $400,000 in the bank but still believes she's entitled to the pension.

5. You share one bathroom with your 5 brothers and 7 sisters, have no money, but drive a $75,000 Club Sport.

6. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all related somehow.

7. You consider dunking a pack of Teddy Bear bikkies in coffee a nutritious breakfast.

8. There are at least 30 pairs of slippers in your front hall closet.

9. You live in a 9 square foot bungalow, but still have 2 kitchens.

10. You have a $6,000 sound system in your XD Falcon.

11. Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

12. You own a tape that has Stevie B, Pearl Jam, and Ricki Martin on the same side.

13. You find it necessary to carry a MOBILE despite the fact that you are a part-time check out chick at Franklins.

14. You have a member card saying V. I. P at more than 3 dance clubs.

15. A favourite summer activity for you and your friends is sitting on the bonnet of your car blaring some gangsta rap outside macca's.

16. Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just Do Me" tank top to The Metro.

17. At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.

18. All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.

19. A high school diploma and 1 year of TAFE College has earned you the title of Professor.

20. You have at least one relative named Mohamed, George, Giovanni or Ahmed.

21. The meat you eat is usually a former pet.

22. It takes 4 disposable blades to shave each side of your face (and that's both for a guy or a girl).

23. If someone in your family grows beyond 5 ft 6 it is presumed your mother had an affair.

24. At some point in your life, you were a D. J. or mowed the lawns at your uncle's.

25. 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "khallo" when answering the phone.

26. You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less than 9 courses despite the fact that you don't eat half of it.

27. You ask how much for cash when buying something from Grace Bros.

28. You are not materialistic but insist a $500 wedding present is nothing.

29. You think having a concrete backyard is nice.

30. You actually believe everyone eats those sugared almonds in the bonbonniere at your wedding.

31. You always have a friend who 'owes you a favour'.

32. You wore skin tight Lycra (?) pants; white high heels and leopard skin print crop tops LONG before Fran Drescher appeared in "The Nanny".
Read 43509 times Last modified on Thursday, 07 February 2013 01:32
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