Tuesday, 12 July 2005 19:00

Fractured English

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Arbitrator (ar'-bi-tray-ter): A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.

Avoidable (uh-voy'-duh-buhl): What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney (buh-lo'-nee): Where some hemlines fall.

Bernadette (burn'-a-det): The act of torching a mortgage.

Burglarize (bur'-gler-ize): What a crook sees with.

Control (kon-trol'): A short, ugly inmate.

Counterfeiters (kown-ter-fit-ers): Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse (i-klips'): what an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper (i'-drop-ur): a clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes (hee'-rhos): what a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank (left' bangk'): what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

Misty (mis'-tee): How some golfers create divots.

Paradox (par'-uh-doks): two physicians.

Parasites (par'-uh-sites): what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist (farm'-uh-sist): a helper on the farm.

Polarize (po'-lur-ize): what penguins see with.

Primate (pri'-mat): removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief (ree-leef'): what trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck (rub'-er-nek): what you do to relax your wife.

Seamstress (seem'-stres): describes 250 pounds in a size six.

Selfish (sel'-fish): what the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued (sub-dood'): like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.

Sudafed (sood'-a-fed): bringing litigation against a government.
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