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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
- Rita Rudner

Jokes

St Patrick

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Irish Hijinks

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Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. They decided to have fun with the man. One of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a girly-man." "Oh really, hmm, didn't know that," said the Irishman.

Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a girly-man, and he didn't care." The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off ... watch and learn." So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!"

"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."

Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!"

The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him off ... just watch." So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!"

"Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."
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