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I used to think I could pass gas silently until I got my hearing aid.



Here Lies Shirley

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Lawyers

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A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads:

"Here lies Shirley, wife of John Fergul, L. L. D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice, and Immigration Legal Services "

Suddenly, the lawyer bursts into tears. His brother says, "You should cry, pulling a cheap stunt like this on Shirley's tombstone !"

Through his tears, the lawyer sobs, "You don't understand! They left out the phone number and Email!"
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busy