" The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. "
Thursday, 31 August 2006 08:45
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Friends help you move.
"REAL" friends help you move bodies.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry.
Then things get worse.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
The secret of the universe is @*^%&# NO CARRIER
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
I'm not a complete idiot...
...some parts are missing!
Always remember you're unique,
just like everybody else.
Give me ambiguity
or give me something else.
Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Learn from your parent's mistakes...
...use birth control!
Hard work has a future payoff.
Laziness pays off now.
If ignorance is bliss,
you must be orgasmic.
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between drunkenness.
I use to have a handle on life
Then it broke.
I don't suffer from insanity.
I enjoy every minute of it.
Few women admit their age.
Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth;
how about a Fountain of Smart?
Change is inevitable,
except from a vending machine.
|< Prev||Next >|