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I used to think I could pass gas silently until I got my hearing aid.

Jokes

Ice Fishing

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An avid ice fisherman moved a short distance onto the ice and began to chop a hole.

Suddenly a voice boomed out from above: "There are no fish in there."

The man looked around but didn't see anyone. However, he heeded the advice and moved to a different spot on the ice to chop another hole.

Again, he heard the loud voice say: "There are no fish in there."

The fisherman still couldn't see anyone. But he accepted the fishing tip and began chopping a third hole farther out.

"There are no fish in there,' resounded the voice louder than ever

Still there was no one in sight, and by now, the fisherman was becoming afraid. "Are you God?" he asked meekly.

"No," the loudspeaker thundered. "I own this skating rink."
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