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My boyfriend came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right.
When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs... he couldn't get back in.

Jokes

Cleveland

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Yesterday, I was on the bus traveling home from work. A man of Arabic appearance got off at the stop before mine and I noticed that he had left his bag behind. I grabbed the bag and ran after him, caught up with him and handed him back his bag.

He was extremely grateful to me and when he checked the contents of his bag I noticed what appeared to be large bundles of cash and white powder.

He looked round, made sure nobody was looking and whispered to me: "I can never repay your kindness sir, but I will try to with a word of advice for you and your friends: Tell everyone you care about to stay away from Cleveland."

I was terrified. "Is there going to be a terrorist attack?" I whispered.

"No, sir," he whispered back. "It's a shithole."
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busy