" You can't trample infidels when you are a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look. "
Terry Pratchett

Bizarre Inventions

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In the 1980's, French women Dominique Peignoux, Yvette Guys and Francoise Dekan marketed a musical napkin that was placed inside a baby's diaper and played "When the Saints Go Marching In" as soon as it became wet.

William A. Calderwood of Peoria, Arizona patented helium filled furniture that would float to the ceiling when not in use to allow extra floor space and be pulled back down by a rope as needed.

It was in 1966 that America's Thomas J. Bayard invented a vibrating toilet seat, acting on the belief that physical stimulation of the buttocks is effective in relieving constipation.

James Moreau developed a brassiere in 1988 which surrounds the breasts with water, so that a buoyant force provides improved and independent support for each breast. A transparent version is suggested for those who wish to make a fashion statement.

In 1984, Inventor Timothy Zell developed a method of growing unicorns that are of higher intelligence and physical attributes, They are also said to be useful as a guard animal. What you may not want to know is the method involves surgical alteration of a one-week old goat, so that its two horn buds will grow together.
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