" 'Boy, I feel a lot safer now that Martha Stewart is behind bars. OJ Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE WOMAN in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her butt off to jail "
George Carlin

Investment News

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Subject: Investment Announcement

Pfizer Corp. (NYSE PFE) is making the announcement today that VIAGRA
(mykoxaphalentooldphyew) will soon be available in liquid form under the trade name of Mydixaflop.

Mydixaflop will be marketed by Pepsi Cola (Pepsi Bottling Group NYSE PBG) as a power beverage suitable for use as-is, or as a mixer, under the name Mount And Do.

Pepsi's proposed ad campaign suggests:
"It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one."
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