" I was doing a survey in London- the question was "What are your views on Migration to the UK?" 7% of people asked said they thought it was a good thing. 12% of people asked said they thought it was a bad thing. And 81% of people asked didn't speak English. "
When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
Saturday, 28 September 2002 08:45
There once was an proud Irishman named Pat, who went to heaven and saw St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter asked, "Who are you?"
Pat replied, "My name is Pat, I'm an Irishman, born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade."
St. Peter said to Pat: "Yes, this is true! Here's a little green cloud for you to drive around heaven in and here is a harp that, when you push this button here, will play 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' Enjoy it, Pat. Have a good time in heaven."
Pat jumps on his little green cloud, punches the button, and heads out with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. He's having a wonderful time in heaven, driving his little green cloud around.
But on the third day, he's driving down Expressway H-1 with the harp playing full blast when, all of a sudden, a Jewish man in a pink and white two-tone cloud with tail fins roars past him. And in the back of this cloud is an organ which is playing all sorts of celestial music.
Pat makes a U-turn right in the middle of the Heaven Expressway and charges back to the Pearly Gates.
He says, "St. Peter, my name is Pat, I'm a proud Irishman. I was born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade. I come up here to heaven and I get this tiny, insignificant little green cloud and this little harp that plays only one song, 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' But, there's a Jew over there. He's got a big, beautiful pink and white two-tone cloud and a huge organ that plays all kinds of celestial music and I, Pat the Irishman, want to know why!"
St. Peter stands up from his desk. He leans over and motions Pat the Irishman to come closer. Then he says: "Pat, shush! He's the Boss's Son!"
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