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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
- Rita Rudner

Jokes

Darth Vader

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Christmas Hilarity

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In a cut sequence from the Return of the Jedi, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are fighting a duel to the death when suddenly Darth says to Luke, "Not only am I your Father, but I also know what you're getting for Christmas!"

Taken aback by the change of subject and suspecting a trap, Luke replies cautiously, "How could you possibly know what I'm getting for Christmas?"

Darth Vader said, "Because I've felt your presents."
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