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If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

Jokes

Dings & Dongs

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Seniors

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On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Jenny went straight over to visit her grandmother.

When she asked how her grandpa had died, her grannie explained, "He had a heart attack during sex on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Jenny suggested that shagging at the age of 94 was surely asking for trouble.

"Oh no," her grannie replied, "We had sex every Sunday morning, in time with the church bells - in with the dings and out with the dongs."

She paused, and wiped away a tear. "If it wasn't for that damn ice cream van going past, he'd still be alive."
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