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My boyfriend came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right.
When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs... he couldn't get back in.

Jokes

Three Old Sisters

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Seniors

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Three old sisters--92 (Robin), 94 (Doreen), and 96 (Peggy) years old, respectively all lived together. One day the oldest drew a bath. She put one foot in the water, paused, then called downstairs to her sisters, "Am I getting in the tub or out of the tub?"

The middle sister started up the stairs to help, then paused and called back downstairs, "Was I going up or coming down?"

The youngest sister, who was sitting at the kitchen table having tea, said, "I guess I'll have to help. I hope I never get that forgetful!" and knocked on wood. She got up then, paused, and called, "I'll come up as soon as I see who's at the door!"
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