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A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"



Giving 110%

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Office Blues

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Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful. What makes life 100%?

If...A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then,
H A R D W O R K

Totals 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 (=98%)

K N O W L E D G E

Totals: 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 (= 96%)

But,

A T T I T U D E
Totals: 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 (=100%)

And,

B U L L S H I T

Totals: 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 (=103%}

So, it stands to reason that hardwork and knowledge will get
you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far A S S K I S S I N G will take you:

1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 (=118%)
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