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I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Jokes

Never Felt Better

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Life of Crime

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The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim.

Attorney: "At the scene of the accident, did you tell the Texas Ranger you had never felt better in your life ?"

Farmer: "That's right."

Attorney: "Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon ?"

Farmer: "When the Ranger arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up, and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I've never felt better in my life.
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