| Aussie Slang |
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| Sunday, 02 March 2003 | |
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I'm hungry: "I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies." "I could eat the horse and chase the jockey." "So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread." "I could eat the arse out of a rag doll through a cane chair." "So hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck." I'm thirsty: "I'm dry as a dead dingo's donger." "I'm drier than a nuns nasty." "I'm dry as a f**k with no foreplay." "I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat." "I'm as dry as a bulls bum going up a hill backwards." "I'm drier than an Arab's fart." I need to go for a pee: "Gonna drain me dragon." "My back teeth are floating." "Need to syphon the python." "Takin' the kids to the pool." "I got to take a snakes hiss." "Gotta go have a slash." "Gonna go water a horse." "I'm off to drain the main vein." "Time to splatter the bladder." "I'm dying for a piss ! so bad I can taste it." "Shake hands with the wife's best friend." I need to do a poo: "I gotta go give birth to a Kiwi." "I'm takin' a stroll to the gravy bowl." "It was like giving birth to Kim Beasly." "Off to the bog to leave an offering." "Time to snap off a grogan." "Have to hang a brown bear in the porcelain cave." "I'm gonna strangle a brownie." "There's a brown dog barking at the back door." "I'm going to give birth to your twin." "Need to choke a brown dog." "I've freed Nelson Mandela." "Going for a Rodney." "Taking out the garbage." "I gotta back one out." "Release the Chocolate hostage" "i gotta lay some cables for telstra" Vomit: "Calling for George." "I was driving the porcelain bus this morning." "I left him a lawn pizza." "Toss a tiger on the carpet." "Gotta go Ralph" Insults: "I hope your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders." "Not enough brains to giv! e 'imself a headache!" "About as useful as tits on a bull." "You must be the world's only living brain donor." "He's a few wanks short of an orgasm." "She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard." "He had a head on him like a sucked mango." "May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down." "He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock." "So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!" "Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery." "Pull your lip over your head and swallow!" "As ugly as a hat full of arseholes." "If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards." "Got a face like a bashed in shit can." "Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground." "Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse." "Couldn't organise a f**k in a brothel with a fist full of fifties." "About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition." "I'll kick your! bum till your nose bleeds!" "A stubbie short of a six pack." "Seen better heads in a piss trough." "You're as handy as shit on a stick." "Tighter than a fish's arse." "So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him." "Face like a smashed crab." "As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp." "He could talk a dog off a meatwagon." "F**ked in the head." "You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie." "He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door." "Mate, she's as rough as a pigs breakfast." "Your face is like a twisted ugg boot." "He's got a face like a cat licking shit off a thistle." "She's been hit with the ugly stick too many times." "She's two pick handles wide." "An arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag." "As ugly as a bag of spanners." "You've got a head like a dropped pie." "He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts give him away." "I wish his dad had settled for a blow job." "Fell out of the ugly ! tree, and hit every branch on the way down." "Your the load your mother should have swallowed" "If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it." "Wouldn't know if someone was up him sideways with an armful of deck chairs." "As thick as two short planks!" "you got a head like a busted watermelon" Compliments: "Ya bloods worth bottling!" "He's True Blue." Did you enjoy this joke? Please share it!              Trackback(0)
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