There once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot. Not knowing what to do, she called 911. "You gotta help me find my parrot!"
The operator patiently replied, "We can't help you with that, ma'am. This number only deals with emergencies."
But the lady persisted, and then the operator told her not to be concerned, that the parrot should fly back in a few days.
Then, out of desperation, the lady begged, "But you don't understand! The only thing he says is 'Here, kitty, kitty!!!' ".
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You know it's going to be a bad day when your teenager knocks on your bedroom door first thing in the morning and says, "Today is Nerd Day at school, Pop. Can I borrow some of your clothes?"
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