If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your ass will get soaking wet.

Jokes

Long Sermon

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Religion

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The Sunday sermon had gone on and on - and on.

And a little girl, who really had been trying to behave herself, knew that after the sermon, there was still the offertory to go, and probably a final hymn. She began to grow more and more restless.

Then she had an idea!

Leaning over toward her mother, she whispered quietly into her ear, "Mommy, do you think that maybe if we just went ahead and gave him the money now, he'd let us go?"
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