Californians put on sweaters(if they can find one in their wardrobe)
50
Miami residents turn on the heat
40
You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming.
35
Italian cars don't start
32
Water freezes
30
You plan your vacation to Australia, Minnesotans put on T-shirts, Politicians begin to worry about the homeless, British cars don't start
25
Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming
20
You can hear your breath, Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further south
15
French cars don't start, You plan a vacation in Mexico, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10
Too cold to ski, You need jumper cables to get your car going
5
You plan your vacation in Houston, American cars don't start
0
Alaskans put on T-shirts, too cold to skate
-10
German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink
-15
You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansas residents stick tongues to metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist
-20
Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start
-25
Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get driver going
-30
You plan a two week hot bath, The Mighty Monongajela freezes. Swedish cars don't start
-40
Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, your car helps you plan your trip south
-50
Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window
-60
Hell freezes over, Polar bears move south!!
The OTHER Annotated Thermometer
40
Siberians melt.
50
Scandinavians sweat.
70
Alaskans declare record heatwave. Californians rise from hibernation.
80
Canadians turn on the air conditioning full blast. Arizona residents stop shivering.
90
Death Valley residents awaken. Scandinavians go underground.
100
British start sacrificing goats to make the sun go away. Californians finally turn off the heaters
105
Texans drink coffee. Alaskans melt.
110
Arabians awaken and thaw. Canadians weep. New Yorkers burst open street fire hydrants.
120
Australians notice the sun is out. All Europeans and Canadians spontaneously combust.
130
Too hot to think. Texans and Californians undo top button. Antarctica is gone, polar bears extinct.
150
Miami residents put on sunglasses. Texans turn on the fan.
200
Arizona children amuse themselves by dropping eggs on sidewalk and giggle while they fry.
212
Water Boils. Death Valley residents put on deodorant.
327
Lead Boils. Okies notice it is warm out.
345
Saharans comment that the sand is a little stingy today.
Jokes 
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