A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant?s arm to one year?s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer?s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
My boyfriend came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs... he couldn't get back in.
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