If you are going to get drunk and done fall over, make darn sure that there are no traces of shaving implements anywhere within 10 miles of your position. (or just lock the door if you can remember how to)..
Voting
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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